Helping Teenagers Cope with Peer Pressure

When most parents hear the term "peer pressure", they almost immediately envision their teenager being forced into situations that they wouldn't normally be in just to keep up with their friends. However, peer pressure can also be positive. It's difficult for any parent to decipher which pressures are positive and which are negative, especially as teens mature and try to find their individuality. During teen years, adolescents are more likely to seek the opinions and acceptance of friends rather than family. No influence in a teenager's life is as powerful as peer pressure. However, there are some techniques that parents can use to teach their children about peer pressure, the difference between positive and negative peer pressure, and how to deal with negative peer pressure.

Positive Peer Pressure

Teens have an important role to play in influencing socially acceptable behavior by affecting the attitudes and behaviors of their peers. At best, positive peer groups can mobilize a teen's energy, motivate him to succeed, and encourage him lead a happy and healthy lifestyle. Parents should encourage their teens to interact with these positive peer groups and learn from them. While the right peers can be positive role models, parents want to be careful not to pick their children's friends for them. This can have the opposite effect and drive your teen toward another peer group. Suggest activities to your teen that you know would introduce them to positive role models. Get them involved in community activities, volunteering, or finding a part-time job in an area that interests them.

Negative Peer Pressure

Negative peer pressure is the unwanted pressure that causes a teen to participate in activities that may hurt him or others. It can draw a teen away from their family and into dangerous activities like experimenting with tobacco, alcohol or drugs. Also, the pressure to be sexually active is very strong among teens. Teenage boys can be pressured by friends to engage in sexual activity to "become a man", and girls can feel pressured to have sex in order to fit in or feel better about themselves. In both cases, teens see it as a way of fitting in and being accepted. Even reasonably independent teens can be persuaded to go with the crowd and follow what their friends may say or do.

Research has shown that teens look to their peer groups for social and emotional support. In order to keep that support they are more likely to give in to negative peer pressure. Teens who don't receive enough affection and approval from their parents will be more likely to seek approval from their friends and are more susceptible to negative peer pressure.

The influence of negative peer pressure on your teen is greatly impacted by their age. Research has shown that pre-teens age 11 to 13 showed the greatest conformity to peer pressure.

Poor choices are not always obvious to parents. Teens who appear to be happy and well grounded when they are with their parents may actually be participating in dangerous activities when they are with their friends. Parents can help their teens recognize that just because everyone else is doing it doesn't make it okay.

How Parents Can Help

To help prevent your teen from being a victim of peer pressure:

• Get to know your teen's friends and their parents.
• Ask your teen questions about their activities when they are with friends. Not as a formal inquisition, but as casual conversation.
• Make open and honest communication a part of your relationship.

Often, just talking about things can help a teenager see how he is being pressured unfairly or unnecessarily by the group. It can be difficult for teens to talk about these topics with their parents, but if a parent provides for open communication with their teen, it can be much easier. It is necessary to keep channels of communication open with other parents as well. This will help keep you informed of your teen's activities, even when you can't be there.

Parents need to be more involved with their teens and offer more supervised activities with their friends. Parents should hold their teen accountable for their misbehavior and encourage their teen to take responsibility for his or her actions rather than blame friends.

Good social skills are learned at home. Even though teens are influenced by peer pressure, the values and social skills they learn at home will stay with them throughout life. In order to establish these skills, parents should start teaching their children good social skills early. Don't wait until you are faced with the problem of peer pressure to start talking to your child about it. Also, parents must make clear, sensible rules for their teen and expect their teen to follow those rules consistently.

Parents have to help build and maintain healthy self-esteem in their teen so that the teen values himself as a person, trusts his abilities and makes the right choices on his own.

Fast Facts About Adolescents

In 2006, 4.5 million children 3–17 years of age (7%) had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Boys were more than twice as likely as girls to have ADHD (11% and 4%).

 

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